Dolls

Real Recognizes Real...dolls that is!

I had to take a month off y'all. I was worn out. I've been doing Keenan's Weekly Rants, Raves and Revelries for over 2 years! That's 104 weeks and I've only missed like 3 weeks in the past! Had a few ghostwriters here and there but max there were like 7 entries. I still came with over 90 various diatribes from my twisted mind lol. Well I'm back. I had a good one for y'all this week but it has to wait till next week cuz I got an email from my homegirl who had wrote one of the funniest, random-est (is that a word) joints ever. So without further ado, I present Ghostwriter Jazz

My Petition for a Real Doll

I came to the realization the other day that I am possessed. No, not by your conventional methods (i.e., evil spirits, ghosts, um, er, baked goods!). I am possessed by my nana, my kitty-cat, my power-u, ugh, can't think of any other synonyms, please tell me you catch my drift by now! Ideally, one hopes to be in control of IT, as opposed to the other way around. Such is not the case. I find that when she is happy, I am too.

Now you are wondering....aren't you one and the same?

No. We are not.

Simply put, what she wants, she gets. She has cravings, desires and most importantly, a drive that beats most normal men senseless. I'm afraid of what will happen if I deny her. I hear voices like "you take him now or else!" Or else what you ask? I'm not sure, but I'm too scared to find out. That is why I am now on the market for a real doll.

Welcome to the new age of self service!

Shit, I can serve thy self better than most men can service me. However, in the interest of a green earth, I think that I should just get a real doll. Mostly because I'm well on my way to either A) getting carpal tunnel with how fast the hand motion is or B) creating a forest fire, like Smokey the bear advised us not to do.

I never understood why it is such a sin in daily church living to touch yourself. Self...

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